CHOOSE A RIDER

CHARLES YOUEL
Minneapolis, MN

NICKNAMES: Never had one, although one of my favorite paranoid fixations is that people have all sorts of derisive nicknames for me that they use when I’m not around. If something is probably true, is it still a paranoid fixation?

AGE: 38

SPONSORS: Me, Myself and I, LLC.

CURRENT BIKE(S): Maverick ML7, Kona Explosif 29er SS, Salsa Campeon

BEST RACE RESULTS: I think I beat my sister racing around the block once. When she was three. Dick Pound and the USADA are still contesting the results. (Side note: If your last name were “Pound,” why would you willingly choose to go by “Dick?” This man’s judgment is not to be trusted.)

FAVE RIDING STYLE: Upright

THE BEST RIDE: The next one

CYCLING TIPS:
1. If you’re riding with me, bring a camera. I’m bound to do something catastrophic that you’ll want pictures of. Besides, I may need them for insurance purposes.
2. Bike to work. At worst, it’ll be the best thing that happens to you all day. At best, you’ll get in a good workout, save money, and enjoy mocking those oh-so-recently smug pricks in their fuel-binging behemoths. Bonus: you won’t have to take a cab home from the bar after all. (In the interest of full disclosure, potential drawbacks include your coworkers seeing you in ultra-snug apparel, and the omnipresent possibility of becoming a hood ornament.)

BIKE SHOP OF RECORD: One On One Bikes + Coffee + Stuff, Minneapolis, MN

GUILTY PLEASURE: Shoes. I’m a shoe whore. Seriously, I make Imelda Marcos look like a dabbler. And if I’m not the least bit guilty about it, does that still count?

LAST MUSIC PURCHASE: Everything, All The Time – Band of Horses

PAPER OR PLASTIC?: Paper. Unless the question concerns dogs and their by-products. Then, plastic.

I WISH I NEVER SOLD MY Soul. But I was all out of CDs.

I THANK MY LUCKY STARS FOR... Every day I wake up alive. Although I suppose it’s hard to wake up dead.

I AM CURRENTLY LUSTING competence. In every available form.