F-YOU OPEC, I got a bike!

As I stood at the gas pump last week, hyperventilating and cursing
everything and anyone profiting from the disgusting price gouging that
is currently inhaling my disposable income, an evil grin spread across
my lips. No, I wasn’t thinking about rubbing a balloon across my head
and talking on my cell (come on, didn’t you know that could start a
fire?). Surely, I would hate it if the gas station blew up.

Note to NSA, I am not a terrorist, nor was my previous comment in any
way intended to be a threat. USA! USA! USA!

No, the reason I was happy was that despite having to choose between
buying food or filling up the car, the obscene gas prices provided
perfect justification for commuting to work. Which is, as we all know,
perfect justification for getting a new bike.

Can you think of a better reason for getting a new bike than saving
both money and the environment? I’ll answer for you. No. You can’t.

However, now that I’m married it turns out that I need to have a
valid reason for dropping three grand on any purchase that doesn’t
involve home improvements. But, I’m happy and couldn’t imagine my
life without her (I love you babe!)

When I told the wife of my plan she agreed that it was a good idea.
Then I slipped in that I probably needed a new bike because my old bike
(from 2003) just wasn’t good enough.

Wife: “Why isn’t it good enough.”

Me: “It just isn’t.”

Wife: Dismissive sideways glance.

Me:“Besides, I thought you wanted my bike.”

Wife:“It isn’t good enough.”

Me:“But I want one.”

Wife:“We’ll think about it.”

I should mention that she’s a kindergarten teacher, so she’s very
skilled at exposing faulty logic. But I think I’ve got her convinced.

Well, almost convinced.

pc